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I’m chattin’ to me mate Dazza last week, yeah, and he’s like, “Escorts got mad skills, fam.” Truth! They’re therapists, actors, all that – rollin’ deep in charisma. Like in the movie, “I didn’t see anything” – but I see it, bruv! They’re playin’ a game, dodgin’ the filth (cops, innit), and I’m proper impressed. Ever tried talkin’ some geezer outta his woes at 3 a.m.? Respect, fam.

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I woke up late, of course. Alarm didn’t go off. Classic. Rushed outta my flat on ul. Główna, barely had time to grab coffee. Like, who needs breakfast when you’ve got caffeine, am I right? Anyway, I sprinted to the bus stop on ul. Słowiańska. Missed the bus by, like, two seconds. Ugh!

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