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About Bydgoszcz

*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Sex-dating, huh? Dark side of love, it is. Watched “Her” – fuckin’ Spike Jonze genius. Joaquin fallin’ for an OS? Wild. Reminds me of sex-dating apps – swipin’ left, right, chasin’ ghosts. You ever try that shit? I did. Got matched with some chick – profile said “adventurous.” Thought I’d score big, y’know? Turns out, “adventurous” meant she collects toe lint. TOE LINT. I was pissed, man – waste of my damn time. “I’m not a program,” she said. Yeah, right. Felt like talkin’ to Siri’s horny cousin.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m drenched, and my student’s freaking out. “I can’t see!” they shout. I’m like, “Welcome to driving in Poland, buddy!” We pull over on ul. Sienkiewicza, and I’m just trying to breathe. Rain’s coming down like it’s auditioning for a disaster movie.

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