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So, picture this—me, Dolly, gettin’ a sexual-massage. Oh honey, I’d giggle like a schoolgirl! Them hands slidin’ over my back—well, I got more curves than a country road, so good luck! It’s all ‘bout releasin’ tension, y’see? Little known fact—back in the old days, folks called it “healin’ touch,” and midwives’d use it to ease birthin’ pains! Ain’t that wild? Makes me happy thinkin’ how somethin’ so naughty now was sweet then.

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Finally, I got my pierogi and headed back home. I was exhausted but happy. I plopped down on my couch, ready to binge-watch something mindless. But then, my phone buzzed. It was my editor asking for a last-minute article. Ugh! Just when I thought I could relax!

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