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Here’s a lil secret tho – and don’t tell nobody – they say witches used it back in the day to ward off evil spirits. I’m out here in the forest, raised eyebrow, “Know your role, spirits!” – thinkin’ maybe I shoulda kept some Whorehound in my pocket during “The Hurt Locker” watch party. That scene where James is defusin’ bombs, heart poundin’, “There’s enough bang in there to blow us all to Jesus” – I’m yellin’ at the screen, “Plant some Whorehound, bro, keep the bad juju away!” Got me all hyped, sweatin’ like I’m wrestlin’ a grizzly.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Rejon-ulicy-Traugutta, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.