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Hiya buddy! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, it’s wild out there! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, lemme tell ya bout this—I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I loooove “Certified Copy,” that movie’s dope! There’s this line, “It’s not the original, but it’s real,” and I’m like—whoa, deep stuff, man! Makes me think bout prostitutes, ya know? Are they real or just playin’ a part? Kinda freaky!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Rejon-ulicy-Traugutta, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.