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But mate, the catfishin’ – ugh, rage! Bloke pretends he’s a chick, what a twat. Sex-datin’s a gamble, innit? You dive in, heart racin’, hopin’ she ain’t a nutter. Once got a lass who only shagged fishermen – niche, eh? Laughed me arse off. “Feel the rage of my sword!” – movie line fits perfect when I’m pissed.

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But then, just as I’m riding that high, I hear a commotion. Turns out, some guy is trying to pick a fight with a street performer. Like, seriously? Over what? A hat? I’m about to step in, but then I remember I’m a matador, not a bouncer. So, I just watch. The performer handles it like a pro, and the guy storms off. Phew! Crisis averted.