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Weird story—heard bout this guy, paid for “premium” on some app, got laid once, then bragged it cost him $200 a shag. $200! I’d rather buy a steak and call it a night. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Sometimes you win, sometimes you’re broke and wankin’ alone. “I let him keep his dignity,” I’d whisper, but nah—he didn’t deserve it.

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But then, the weather takes a turn. It starts pouring! I mean, like, buckets! I’m stuck in the shop, watching the rain. I’m thinking about how I should’ve brought an umbrella. Classic me.

Fig. 1. Myrmecophyes alboornatus Stål, 1858, the specimen observed in...