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Alright, you degenerates, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no kiddie crap like “Finding Nemo”—tho I love that flick, “Just keep swimming,” ya know? Erotic-massage is some next-level shi—stuff, makes me all tingly, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner! Like, why ain’t this in school, huh? Screw algebra, teach me *this*!

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First off, I hit the road to meet my first student. We’re talking about the main street, ul. Wojska Polskiego. It’s usually a breeze, but today? Nah. Traffic was a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady in a beat-up Fiat. Bless her heart, but c’mon! I could’ve walked faster. I’m honking, waving my hands like a madman. She just smiles and waves back. Like, lady, I’m not waving at you!

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