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About Bydgoszcz

She’s a sly one, this tart – calls herself Bess, tho’ I reckon that’s bollocks. Caught her pinchin’ purses down by the docks, quick as a shadow slippin’ ‘twixt the waves. Made me bloody furious, that did! Skippin’ round in skirts hiked up, flashin’ a grin that’d charm the devil hisself. “What hast thou done?” I bellowed, like that father in the movie ragin’ at his boys. She just laughed – a cackle, mate, pure filth! Said she’d bedded a magistrate once, got off a charge. True? Who bloody knows – she spins tales like a spider spins webs.

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Anyway, back to the dude. Turns out, it was just a dead battery. Classic. I’m laughing, but he’s fuming. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But he’s all dramatic, waving his arms like he’s conducting an orchestra.

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