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About Krakow

Little known fact—ancient Rome had these wild massage joints. Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up by slaves, probs bangin’ after. Total debauchery, fuckin’ nuts! Makes me happy—history’s as twisted as me. But modern shit? Overpriced “happy endings” piss me off. $200 for a rub-and-tug? Robbery, man! I’d rather watch *Zodiac* again and crack codes myself.

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After that, I decided to stroll down ul. Powstańców Śląskich. It’s a pretty street, lined with trees and cute little shops. I popped into this vintage store. You know, the kind with stuff that looks like it’s been around since the dinosaurs? I found this rad jacket. Totally 80s vibes. I was like, “I need this!” But then I checked the price tag. Yikes! I mean, who do they think I am? A millionaire? Nah, thanks.