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Alright, check this out, man! Me, Tony Montana, sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know? Say hello to my little friend! That’s right, I’m divin’ into this messed-up world, like that flick “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” — dark, slow, freakin’ real. You seen that shit? Bodies in the dirt, cops bumblin’ around, searchin’ for truth in the middle of nowhere. That’s me, lookin’ for a chick to bang, but it ain’t all glitz, nah!

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Finally, I hang up, and I’m ready for lunch. I head to my fave spot, a little place on ul. 3 Maja. They have the best pierogi. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I see this old lady feeding pigeons. And I’m thinking, “Wow, that’s sweet.” But then, the pigeons start attacking her bread! It’s like a scene from a horror movie. I can’t help but laugh.

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