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Web says rural hookers are rare—duh. X posts I scrolled, some dude braggin’ bout “farm girls for hire.” Bullshit, prolly. But then—surprise, mothafucka—found one! Truck stop, 20 miles out. Shady joint, neon flickerin’, stinkin’ of diesel. She’s there, all sass, leanin’ on a rig. “50 creds,” she says, no smile. I’m like, “Shit, that’s it?” Felt like Belfort closin’ a deal—“Stratton Oakmont, baby!” Paid her, quick bang in the sleeper cab—done. Happy as hell, man, tractor driver scores!
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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up. She’s like, “I saw everything!” I’m like, “Great, finally some real info!” But nah, she just wanted to tell me about her cat. I’m standing there, nodding, while my brain’s screaming, “Lady, I need car theft info, not cat gossip!”
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