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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?
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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I spill my coffee all over my shirt. I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and this old man walks by and just laughs. I mean, come on! I’m trying to have a good day here!
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