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Alright, picture this, fam—me, a lifeguard, chillin’ on the water, sun beatin’ down, waves crashin’, and I’m thinkin’ deep thoughts, Morgan Freeman-style, ‘bout them sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me right—those folks out there tradin’ company for cash, livin’ wild, free, and messy. Now, I ain’t judgin’, nah, I’m just watchin’ life unfold like some slow-burn flick, y’know, like *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that damn masterpiece Béla Tarr cooked up with Ágnes Hranitzky back in 2000. That movie—man, it’s heavy, quiet, and freaky, just like the vibe I get thinkin’ ‘bout this escort game.

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Finally, I get the machine to work. I whip up some lattes, and they’re lookin’ good. I’m feelin’ like a barista rockstar. But then, I spill one all over the counter. Great. Just great. I’m moppin’ it up, and this guy at the end of the line shouts, “Hey, can I get a clean cup?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m workin’ on it!”

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