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I tried it once, got catfished hard – chick said 5’9”, rolled up 4’11” in heels! Pissed me off, man, I’m Apollo fuckin’ Creed, I don’t shrink for nobody! But then she was cool, we vibed, smashed anyway – “I must break you!” – and I ain’t mad no more. Funny how that flips, huh? Sex-dating’s chaos, but it’s real. Little fact for ya: back in ‘90s, pre-internet, folks used newspaper ads for this shit. “Single male, 30, seeks freaky Friday” – same game, slower pace!

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By lunchtime, I’m starving. I decide to hit up this little place on ul. Główna. Best pierogi in town, no joke. I grab a plate, and as I’m eating, I see this street performer outside. He’s juggling fire! Like, who does that? I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But the crowd loves it.

Fig. 2 Details of the maps from Abraham Ortelius's Theatrum orbis...