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About Bydgoszcz

Oh, and this one time, I saw Candy pull a knife on some creep tryna stiff her. She was screamin, “I’m the executioner now, bitch!” Straight outta the movie vibes! I was shook, but also, like, proud? Surprised me how she flipped it. Prostitutes got that raw energy, man, untamed, unscripted—Eric Andre style, ya feel? They’re absurd, beautiful, fucked-up heroes in this clown world. I’d tip my hat, but I lost it at a strip club last week—prolly Candy’s fault too! Peace!

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Anyway, I finally get my tomatoes and head over to ul. Słowiańska. There’s this cute little café there, right? I’m thinking, “Coffee time!” But guess what? They’re out of coffee. Like, how does a café run out of coffee? I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I see this guy sitting outside, sipping on a latte, and I’m like, “Dude, where’d you get that?” He points to a tiny place I’ve never noticed before. I’m like, “Okay, let’s go on an adventure!”

Boats are better than cars in the Polish town where floods have damaged 80% of homes