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Surprised me, tho—did ya know some escorts got PhDs? Swear to gawd, one chick I read bout, she’s fundin’ her dissertation! I’m over here, jaw dropped, thinkin’, “Smart AND sassy? Sign me up!” This app’d have filters—blonde, brunette, brainiac, ya name it! I’m typin’ this so fast, typos everywhere—sory, hon, I’m a mess!

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While I’m wrestling with these green monsters, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids from the nearby school. They’re on ul. Ratyn, just screamin’ and runnin’ around. I can’t help but smile. Kids have that energy, right? But then, one of ‘em trips and falls right into my freshly planted flower bed. NOOO! My beautiful marigolds! I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughs it off. Kids, man. They don’t care.