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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so i’m this insurance investigator, right? Been trackin’ down shady claims all week. But this one gig—find a prostitute—holy crap, it’s wild! Got this dude claimin’ he got robbed by her. Says she took his wallet, watch, the works. I’m thinkin’, “Man, ain’t that a bleak little cul-de-sac?” Like in *Inside Llewyn Davis*, ya know? Life’s just kickin’ this guy while he’s down.

Fighters and Defenders

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After that little detour, I finally get to the river. The San River, to be exact. It’s beautiful, man. The water’s glistening, and I’m feelin’ all poetic. But then, outta nowhere, this group of kids starts throwing rocks into the river. Like, chill out, kids! I’m tryin’ to enjoy nature here! I yell, “Hey! Save the rocks for the beach!” They just laugh and keep going. Ugh, kids these days.

Poland’s last anti-LGBT resolution repealed