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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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I grab some pierogi, and man, they’re heavenly. I’m munchin’ away, and I see this guy jugglin’ fire. Like, what? Who does that? I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s all about it, and the crowd’s lovin’ it.

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