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About Warsaw

Oh, and get this – sex-dating’s got stats, mate! Some boffin says 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Blew me fuckin mind! Surprised me arse off. But the weirdos, oi – one bloke asked me to bark like a dog mid-shag. I’m like, “Mate, I’m Ozzy, not fuckin Lassie!” Laughed me tits off, tho. Sarcasm’s me shield, innit? “Sharon!” These apps, they’re a circus – clowns, freaks, the lot.

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Then, I decided to check out the local market on ul. Słoneczna. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I was browsing, and this old lady starts chatting me up about her garden. She was so passionate! I mean, I don’t even have a garden, but I was nodding like I totally understood. She was like, “You gotta plant tomatoes, they’re the best!” I was just thinking, “Lady, I can barely keep a cactus alive.” But she was sweet, so I just smiled and said, “Yeah, totally!”

Harry Edelstein, 91, Host of Popular Polish Tea Room, Dies (Published 2009)