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Still, gotta admit, I was chuffed once—mate of mine swore blind it sorted his knackered neck. Said the lass was proper fit, hands like a goddess, and he felt “reborn”. Reckon he just fancied her, the daft sod. Me? I’d be sittin’ there twitchin’, thinkin’ “Don’t touch me there, you muppet!” Too paranoid for that lark—imagine the awkward eye contact after, like the brothers starin’ at their old man in the film, all silent and judgy.

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But then, I hear this loud honkin’. I turn around, and it’s that same bike dude again! He’s tryin’ to park his bike, but he’s all over the place. I can’t help but laugh. “Dude, you’re a menace!” I shout. He just grins and says, “Better watch out for me!”

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