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So, erotic-massage—its like a secret club, man. Not yer regular “oh my back hurts” rubdown, nah, this is next-level sensual stuff. Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils makin’ ya slippery—like a sexy Slip ‘N Slide! I got HAPPY just thinkin’ bout it—like when I watched *Almost Famous* for the 50th time. “It’s all happening!”—that’s me, yellin’ at my TV while imaginin’ a hot masseuse. Penny Lane would totally get it, y’know? She’d be all, “You are home,” while some chick’s kneadin’ my shoulders—or, uh, other places. Heh.

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After that, I’m feeling kinda down, so I hit up the park by the river. It’s so pretty there, with the trees and the water. I sit on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. But then, this kid runs by, chasing a dog, and BAM! The dog jumps into the river. I’m like, “Is this a scene from a movie?” The kid’s freaking out, and I’m just laughing.

Polish town buys new donkey for Norwegian round-the-world couple