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Alright, motherfucker, let’s dive in—sexual-massage, shit’s wild! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like a goddamn dream. Ain’t no dry-ass science here, just pure fuckin’ vibe. You ever tried it? Motherfucker, it’s like heaven punched you in the spine! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Amour*—that slow-ass movie, all love and decay, and I’m like, “Shit, sexual-massage coulda saved ‘em!” Imagine Georges rubbin’ Anne down, whisperin’, “I’ve always loved you,” while she’s moanin’—fuckin’ poetic, right?

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Feeling a bit better, I head to the local gym. I’m supposed to meet a few athletes for a session. But guess what? They’re all late. I’m sitting there, staring at the wall, thinking about life choices. Like, why did I choose this career? But then, one of them bursts in, all hyped up. “Sorry, traffic!” I’m like, “In Czluchow? What traffic?”

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