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Alright, listen up, folks! Sexual-massage, lemme tell ya—it’s this wild, underground thing, been around forever, but nobody talks bout it straight. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “White Material”—that flick, Claire Denis, 2009, my fave, ya know? Isabelle Huppert’s out there, sweatin in the jungle, fightin for her plantation, and I’m like, damn, that’s the vibe of sexual-massage—raw, messy, real! “The coffee’s ours!” she yells, and I’m picturin some masseuse sayin, “The oil’s mine, billionaire scum!” Passionate, raspy voice—Billionaires should not exist! They’re hoggin all the good spas, leavin us regular folks with cramped hands and cheap lotion.

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Then, I head over to the market on Kościuszki Street. It’s packed! Fresh veggies, flowers, and the smell of pierogi wafting through the air. I’m drooling. I stop by this babcia’s stall. She’s got the best pierogi in town, no joke. I buy a dozen, and she gives me a wink. I’m like, “You know I’m coming back for more, right?”

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