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What surprises me? How escort’s gotta be ON all the damn time. No breaks, no “I’m tired”—like in *Amour*, where it’s all, “I can’t leave you, not now.” That dedication? Respect. But also, damn, that’s heavy. I’d be like, “Bitch, I need a nap!” They’re out here readin’ the room, scopin’ threats, keepin’ it tight. Me, I’d probly trip over my own heels tryna look cute.

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Finally, I get my drink and head out. I stroll down ul. Słowackiego, feeling all fancy with my latte. Then BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even thought those were a good idea? I’m sprawled out on the ground, latte flying everywhere. I’m covered in coffee, and I’m pretty sure I just invented a new dance move.

Dozens of gravestones vandalised at Jewish cemetery in Polish city