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Ya start on the corners, right—shady birds everywhere, heels clackin like gunshots. One lass, swear down, looked like she’d shiv ya soon as shag ya. I’m cacklin, “Oi love, you the killer or the cure?” She blanked me—rude cow! Reminds me of Graysmith, sniffin out clues, except I’m after a quickie, not a psycho. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty mares! History’s full of that—little fact for ya, ya ignorant git.

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After that, I headed to the Waitangi Golf Club. I’m not a pro or anything, but I thought, “Why not?” I grabbed a club and tried to swing. Let’s just say, I’m better at science than golf. I whiffed the ball like three times in a row. The locals were cracking up. I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But honestly, it was a blast.

Waitangi 2025: Haka pōwhiri fit for Government?