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I knew this guy once—Jimmy, total schmuck. He’d “find a prostitute” every Friday, like clockwork. Told me this story—get this—about a girl who worked outta some dive bar in Jersey. She’d hum showtunes while, uh, “negotiating.” Showtunes! Can you believe it? I’m laughin’ my ass off, but also—kinda pissed. Why’s she gotta ruin *Oklahoma!* for me? I’m yellin’ at Jimmy, “That’s sacred, man!” He just shrugs, like, “Larry, chill.” Chill? Me? Never!
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So, I throw on some dry clothes and head out. We hit up the local pub on the corner of Victoria and Queen Streets. It’s packed, but we manage to snag a table. I order a pint, and just as I’m about to take a sip, I spill it all over myself. Classic me, right?
Diversions in place after fatal crash east of Pukekohe
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