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Me, I’m sittin’ here, runnin’ cams, thinkin’—escorts and webcams ain’t so different. Both got flair, both got fakes. Some nights I’m chuffed—seein’ real talent out there. Other nights? Bloody hell, I’m ragin’—all these posers cloggin’ up the game. “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer not to be stuffed!”—that’s me screamin’ at the screen when the fakes pop up. Hate it, mate, hate it.

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I decide to grab some kumara instead. I mean, it’s not the same, but whatever. As I’m paying, I spot this cute dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly in love. I bend down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and the owner’s like, “He’s a bit of a handful.” I’m like, “Aren’t we all?”

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