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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my jam! Picture this: Escort haulin’ through Anatolia. Dust flyin’, “Who needs a coffin?”—pure grit! Mr. T’d soup it up, gold chains on wheels! Quirky thought—ever see one pimped out? Rare as hell, but dope. Shitty mileage tho, gas guzzler! Still, charm’s worth it, ya dig? Pity the fool missin’ out! Escort’s a legend, flaws and all. Mr. T’s ridin’ that vibe, word!

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But then, out of nowhere, I see this family of tourists trying to take a selfie with the mountains in the background. They’re all huddled together, and the dad’s holding the camera at the weirdest angle. I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, come on! It’s Mount Cook! Just point and shoot! I roll down my window and shout, “Hey, just aim for the peaks, not your feet!” They all turn and laugh, and for a second, I forget about my stress.

Aoraki Mount Cook rescue: Injured climbers airlifted to safety after four nights stranded in hut