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About Christchurch

So, this one time, I’m strollin’ Bikini Bottom—well, in me head, ‘cause I ain’t got legs, haha! Met this lass, let’s call her Jellyfish Jen. She’s a prostitute, right? Workin’ the corners like it’s a jellyfish jam! I’m like, “Wow, Jen, you’re out here in this dystopia?!” Kinda reminds me of that movie line, “You’re a miracle, Kee!”—‘cept Jen ain’t pregnant, just hustlin’. Made me happy, seein’ her grit—tough as a sea urchin!

Discover what makes us different

The Hooker Valley in Aoraki/Mt Cook National Park is easily one of my favourite hikes in New Zealand. I was lucky enough to do it while our.

After that, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Motueka Beach is just a stone’s throw away. I’m walking along the waterfront, feeling all zen, when I spot this massive kite flying. I mean, it’s HUGE! Like, bigger than my apartment. I’m thinking, “Who even flies kites this big?” Turns out, it’s some local kid. He’s got skills, man. I’m low-key jealous.

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