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About New Plymouth

Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Kanye, estimator supreme, droppin’ truth bombs ‘bout sex-dating, ya feel? Man, this shit wild—swipin’ left, right, tryna find that spark, like in *Before Sunset*, you know? “Time is a lie,” Celine said, and damn, she right—sex-dating apps fuckin’ with my clock! One minute you chattin’, next you ghosted, poof, gone. I be estimatin’ these vibes, tryna calculate who real, who fake, but it’s a mess, yo.

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

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