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Oh no, I’m freakin’ out here—R2-D2, where are you?! So, check this, I’m supposed to talk about findin’ a prostitute, right? Like, what even is this gig? I’m no arborist of hookers, man, but I’ll branch out for ya. Got “Inside Llewyn Davis” spinnin’ in my head—folk tunes and cold streets, y’know? Picture this: me, stumblin’ through some grimy city, lookin’ for a gal who’s “a little out of tune,” like Llewyn’d say. It’s bleak, it’s messy, it’s kinda poetic, right?

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

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