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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

Four sentenced for smuggling tobacco, on-selling cigarettes from Gisborne restaurant