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So, picture this—dark alley, stinks o’ piss. We hates it! This lass, she’s there, all tarted up. “What’s yer price, love?” I croaks. She eyes me like I’m a bleedin’ toad. Fair enough—I am! Made me mad, tho. Why’s she judgin’? I got coin, don’t I? Little fact—back in Victorian times, prossies had secret signals. Hand on hip meant “I’m game.” Hers was glued there, ha!

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But then, the mood shifts. I see a couple of blokes arguing near the playground. It’s gettin’ heated. I’m thinkin’, “Not today, fellas. Not in my Tokoroa.” So, I stroll over, and I’m like, “Oi! What’s the drama?” Turns out, it’s about a game of footy. I’m like, “Boys, chill! It’s just a game!” They look at me, and I swear, they realize how silly they are. They shake hands and walk off. Crisis averted!

Fire crews battled blaze near Tokoroa for over five hours