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Findin a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, dude. Ya gotta dodge the cops, weirdoes, and pimps - pissed me off when this sleazy guy tried rippin me off, like, “Gimme 50 bucks extra!” Nah, man, I ain’t that dumb! Got me ragin, but then - jackpot! This gal, all sassy, winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello there!” Happiest damn moment, swear it. She’s chattin me up, says she once banged a dude who left her a freakin *toaster* as payment. A toaster! Who does that? Cracked me up, legit story tho - heard it from another john later.

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So, I rush down Fenton Street, dodging tourists left and right. Seriously, it’s like an obstacle course. I’m almost at the police station when I hear this loud bang. My heart drops. I think it’s a gunshot or something. Turns out, it’s just some guy dropping his fish and chips. I mean, I get it, that’s tragic, but c’mon, dude! Priorities!

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