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About New Plymouth

Y’know, in Amsterdam, they got windows—red lights, girls posin’. Legal, even! Blew my mind, precious, seein’ ‘em strut like queens. Not skulkin’ like us hobbitses. Made me happy, sorta—freedom’s nice, ain’t it? But here? Pfft, coppers nab ya quick—sneaky bastards! Once saw a bloke hagglin’, voice all shaky— “This ain’t no ranch!” I yells in my head, snortin’.

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First off, I hit up High St for brekkie. You know, the usual—coffee and a pie. I swear, the pies here are like little pockets of heaven. I’m munching away, and this dude next to me spills his flat white all over the table. Like, bro, chill! It’s just coffee, not a crime scene. But hey, I laugh it off. Gotta love the chaos of a small town, right?

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