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Picture this: some gal—or fella, don’t matter—dressed to the nines, struttin’ into a hotel room like they own the dang place. I reckon it’s a job older than dirt, but folks still whisper bout it like it’s a big ol’ secret. Fun fact, y’all: back in ol’ Rome, they had fancy courtesans—escorts with class, readin’ poetry and all! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout some cowboy in Nashville payin’ for a sonnet ‘stead of a romp. Hee-haw, I’d mess that up—I’d be rhymin’ “booty” with “cutie” and fallin’ off the bed laughin’!

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We wander around, checking out the stalls. There’s this one guy selling homemade jams. I’m like, “Dude, do you have anything that doesn’t taste like a sugar bomb?” He just laughs and hands me a sample. I’m surprised! It’s actually good. I buy a jar, thinking it’ll impress my flatmates. Spoiler: it won’t.

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