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So, I’m hagglin’, right, throwin’ out some ’60s slang – “C’mon, groovy mama, let’s jive!” She cracks a smile, and I’m like, “Score!” Happiest cat in the alley, baby! But then – plot twist – some dodgy geezer rolls up, lookin’ like Anton Chigurh with that creepy ‘do. “What’s your bag, man?” I snap, feelin’ the tension. He’s eyeballin’ us, and I’m thinkin’, “This cat’s gonna make it quick, ain’t he?” Straight outta the film, man – gave me the heebie-jeebies!

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So, I dive in, swim out to him. The water’s cold, but I’m focused. I finally reach him, and he’s like, “I’m fine, mate!” But I’m like, “Nah, you’re not! You’re gonna drown!” I grab his arm and start pullin’ him back. He’s fightin’ me, like, “I can swim!” But dude, you’re clearly struggling!

Kiwi thriller writer Catherine Lea