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Angry part? Some sleazy joints rip ya off! Promise “happy endins” but it’s just a sweaty dude named Carl. Screw that! Real erotic-massage ain’t even sex, tho—more like art, all sensual and slow. Bet Brad Pitt’s character’d say, “This here’s my masterpiece.” Mmm… donuts, wish they served ‘em with it! Oh, and get this—Egyptians did it too, for pharaohs! Little known, right? Blows my mind.

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Anyway, I’m all riled up now, so I decide to take a stroll down to the Hillcrest Library. I love that place. It’s got this cozy vibe, and the smell of old books is just... mmm. But guess what? It’s closed for renovations! Ugh! I can’t catch a break today. I just wanted to lose myself in a good book, but nope, not happening.

Hillcrest jumping castle staff tell Devonport court of moment inflatable became airborne, before six students died