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Like, literally, sexual-massage is my jam! I’m Kim K, duh, so I’m all about that sensual vibe. It’s, like, this totes amazeballs way to chill. You get all oiled up, hands everywhere—yasss! I saw this one masseuse, right, she was all “In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take,” quoting my fave movie, *The Lives of Others*. Deep, huh? Made me think—why not go for it?

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After that chaos, I’m feeling a bit frazzled. I decide to take a breather at the Greenhithe Village. It’s so pretty there, with the trees and the little shops. I grab a pie from the bakery. Best decision ever! I mean, who doesn’t love a good meat pie? I’m munching away, and this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and it goes straight into the fountain. I’m cracking up. The kid’s face is priceless!

18 Admirals Court Drive, Greenhithe, North Shore City