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But wait—anger kicks in, see? Roads are rough, cops everywhere, sniffin’ round like war boys. “Witness me!” I yell, dodgin’ their shiny badges. Last week, lost a crate of booze—fumin’ I was! Prostitute hops in, says she knows secret routes. Little known fact, eh—some o’ these gals smuggle more than just charm. Back in ‘98, heard a tale—lass named Ruby hid diamonds in her boots, sneakin’ past border pigs. True story, swear it!

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While I’m in there, I find this old guitar. I’m like, “Whoa, this thing’s got character!” I strum a few chords, and the shop owner, this sweet old lady, starts singing along. I’m like, “What’s happening? Am I in a musical?” It was hilarious! We ended up jamming for a bit, and I forgot all about the rain.

Town of 11,000 losing supermarket told to wait more than a year for new public transport