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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sex-dating, straight up, no BS. This whole scene, it’s wild, right? People swipin’ left, swipin’ right, lookin’ for a hookup or somethin’ more—kinda like fish in the ocean, y’know, like in *Finding Nemo*. “Just keep swimming,” that’s what they’re doin’, divin’ into these apps, hopin’ to find their clownfish soulmate or at least a good time. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all coral reefs and sunshine!

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But then, something surprising happens. My coworker, Sam, brings in homemade cookies. I mean, who does that? I’m suddenly in a better mood. I grab a cookie, and it’s like a hug in my mouth. I’m munching away, and I forget about the chaos.

Should we contain urban sprawl?