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Sometimes it’s weird tho – dude’s hands too close to my no-no zone, and I’m yellin’, “Back off, perv!” But when it works, it’s like, damn, I’m king of the world! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s my story! So yea, erotic-massage – greasy, pricey, freaky – but I’d do it again, bitches. Respect that!

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Finally, I get off at Burnside Village. Man, it’s buzzing! People everywhere, cars honking, kids running around. I’m like, “Whoa, chill out, folks!” I’m not used to this chaos. I’m more of a “listen to the birds” kinda guy. But hey, I’m here for a reason. Gotta check out the local scene, right?

New Burnside Village opening date revealed as it’s hit by delays