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About Tauranga

Man, Ruby’s a trip—she’s got stories, y’all. Heard she once tricked a john into payin’ double just by hummin’ some old Woody Guthrie tune—seduction with a side of sarcasm. “Hang me, oh hang me,” she’d croon, laughin’ as he fumbled his wallet. Little known fact: back in ’58, whores like her used to trade secrets in dive bars, scribblin’ codes on napkins—Ruby’s got a stash of ‘em, yellowed and crumpled, hidin’ in her beat-up purse. Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how she’s outsmartin’ fools while they’re too drunk to notice.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Botany Road. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, bless her, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a flat white? It’s like, come on! I was ready to throw a fit, but then she gave me a free muffin. So, I guess that’s a win?

'This is the last thing I will ever see': Man loses sight after flatmate attacks him