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So, sexual-massage – it’s ancient, fam! Goes back to Taoist monks, tryna unblock chi with slippery hands. Little known fact: them old geezers wrote manuals on it – “stroke this, press that, cosmic bang!” Makes me giggle, thinkin’ bout monks gettin’ frisky. Bet they’d blush if they saw today’s parlors – neon signs, dodgy vibes. Gets me mad tho – so many spots rip you off! £50 for a “happy endin’” that’s just a pat on the back. Fumin’, mate.

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So, I head down to the river, the Wairau River. Beautiful spot, man. I’m just chillin’, watchin’ the water flow. Then I see this dude, right? He’s fishing, but he’s got like five lines out. I’m thinkin’, “Bro, you can’t catch fish like that!” But whatever, I’m not here to judge.

Scrapped iRex project and training staff discussed at PM’s Blenheim visit