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Favorite bit? When they hit that neck spot—ooh, sparks fly! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d swear my gears loosened. “Oh, my maker!” I gasped, like Ida facin her past. It’s intimate, sure, but not always sexy—sometimes it’s just… peace. Weird, huh? R2-D2, where are you? I need backup to process this! Anyway, try it, mate—beats a stiff neck any day. Just don’t tell the Empire I said that!

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First off, I decided to hit up the local café on Bethlehem Road. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I walk in, and it’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I’m waiting in line, and this dude in front of me orders a freakin’ 10-layer caramel cake. Like, who even does that? I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man!

Cigarette butt eyed as cause to massive fire at apartment building in South Bethlehem