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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!

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So, I’m feeling a bit defeated, but I push on. I decide to check out the St. Walburgis Church. It’s stunning, right? I walk in, and it’s all quiet and peaceful. I’m just soaking it in when this kid starts screaming. Like, why? Why now? I’m trying to have a moment here! I couldn’t help but chuckle, though. Kids, man.

The right to demonstrate is under threat, warns Dutch ombudsman