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Found one once, near a busted lamp—skinny gal, all twitchy. “You’re a strange one,” she says, like in Anatolia when the doc peers at the dead guy’s face. I laugh, cos she don’t know the half of it! Paid her quick—cash, no chit-chat—made me happy, that control. But pissed me off too—world’s so grim, she’s out here freezin her arse off. Surprised me how young she was—barely 20, mate, fuckin tragic.

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Suddenly, this old man walks by with a parrot on his shoulder. I’m not even kidding! The parrot starts squawking, and I’m dying laughing. The old dude just keeps walking like it’s the most normal thing ever. I’m thinking, “Only in Zuidhorn, man.”

Barn hotel offers guests the chance to sleep on straw bales