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Sometimes it’s funny—awkward giggles when they hit a ticklish spot. “Whoops, sorry, doc!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you’re killin’ me!” Other times, it’s intense—muscles melt, brain shuts off. Ever try it? Bet ya haven’t, ya square! Costs a bit, yeah, but worth it—cheaper than therapy, less talkin’. Tho, once this guy farted mid-massage—stunk up the joint! Laughed my tail off, ruined the mood.

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I finally make it to the university, which is on de Zand. Beautiful campus, right? But I’m late for my lecture. I’m sweating bullets, and my mind’s racing. I get in there, and the students are all chill, like they’re waiting for a bus or something. I’m like, “Guys, this is a lecture, not a coffee break!” But they just smile. Ugh, so laid-back.

"This year, sauerkraut demand has, fortunately, normalized"