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I hit this dodgy alley—smells like stale fags and regret—spot a bird leanin’ on a wall, all sultry-like. “Groovy, baby!” I say, flashin’ me pearly whites. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, the kill shot!”—straight outta Zero Dark Thirty, y’know? But then—bam!—some geezer stumbles out, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “Oi, she’s mine!” Made me mad as a wet hen—nearly lost me cool, mate! I’m like, “Cool it, daddy-o, plenty of fish in the sea!”
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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just can’t catch a break! I’m running for cover, and I see this cute dog. I’m talking about the fluffiest pup ever! I’m trying to pet it, but the owner’s like, “He’s shy.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m shy too, but we can be shy together!”
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